Thursday, 29 June 2017

Serenity is a Matter of Practice


I don't know you, but I work extremely hard with my mind so I can smile when everything seems to go wrong.
We all have problems, and our way of coping with them are very different because we are different. However, as I said so many times before, all that we do, or not do in life is a choice.
Most choices come naturally because we are programmed this way and because everyone around us does the same. We don’t know better.
  • Feeling sad when it rains is a choice, 
  • Going to work is a choice, 
  • Getting married is a choice,
  • Drinking, smoking is a choice,
  • Being a nice person is a choice,
  • Watching TV, listening to the radio, spending our time on social networks, reading, singing, writing... but mostly, breathing is a choice. 
It's difficult to broke this pattern, to shift our inborn way of thinking, but it’s not impossible. 
However, the amount of work, focus, grit, resilience, persistence is huge, and most people give up even before trying. Others give up after a while because it's so incredibly hard. 
Self-control is what distinguish the smiling people from the gloomy ones. And that doesn’t come effortlessly.

It's tough to get up at 5 AM when your body screams for at least three more hours in bed. - But with practice this is achievable. 
Smiling when it rains is a matter of practice. 
Feeling grateful for the job we have but don't like, is a matter of practice.
Exercising when we don’t feel like it is a matter of practice.
Going to bed at 9 PM instead of 12 PM and falling asleep is a matter of practice.
The vast majority says, “I can’t. I’ve tried, but it didn’t work.” 
Do you think it came easily to me or anyone else? No, man, not at all. The first night I changed my sleeping hours, Morpheus refused to take me into his land at 9 PM. The second night happened the same, the third, a whole week, a month, two months… But after a while, it became second nature. I didn’t give up until it went as planned. 
If you really want to change, you never surrender!

It’s hard to invest all your time and energy on listening and watching positive and inspirational videos or movies. Most of us do this for a few minutes or hours a day (week) then move back to TV shows, serials, Hollywood/Bollywood movies, games, social networks and so on. Every time you lost focus and chose to listen to a sad song, watch a silly movie thinking you deserve some recreation because life is short, you condemn yourself to a future in misery. 

I am a blogger, social networks are vital to me. I am the most fervid advocate of the internet, without it, I’d be nothing, nobody would read my stories, but I don’t stay online 20/24. God, no! 
I don’t watch TV or listen to the radio (at all) because I chose to focus and invest absolutely everything—mind, body, soul, finances, time—on my dream. For me, it is now or never. Every minute counts. Any second is priceless. 
I wasted 40 years of my life because I postponed committing 100%. I kept hoping something will happen, and everything will change and improve radically. 

It’s extremely easy to get sucked into a virtual/fantasy/false word, to lose faith, direction and mind. The temptation to read a silly news after another, watch funny videos or songs in a sequence is overwhelming. 
Choosing to focus your attention exclusively on positive songs, videos, movies, books, articles, 24/24 requires determination, perseverance, grit, resilience. 
But we are weak and give up easily because we are tired, frustrated, disappointed,  hurt, upset, despondent. 
I know, I’ve been there. My heart bleeds for you. But because I’ve been there for so many years, I am entitled to tell you that nothing will change if you don’t commit 100% RIGHT IN THIS MOMENT. 

You want to be able to fall asleep at 10 PM? Then start practising today and don’t stop until you get there.
No more TV, no more sad songs, funny auditions, and empty movies that give you a temporary solution. A weak sense of pleasure. Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away. Sooner or later you have to deal with it. 
No more crying when it’s raining, no more delaying, no more giving up. If you stop before you succeed, then clearly, it’s never going to happen.
If you quit, your life will be the same until you die. And I can assure you in that moment you would give anything to turn back time and learn what determination, commitment, will power are.

Whatever you sense right now is temporary. But if you know better, and you do because you got to the end of this article, and ignore to take significant action, then you are not low enough. 
What I came to realise is that a person has to hit rock bottom before rising. 
When you have two choices only, DIE or CHANGE, what to you do? 
If toddlers gave up walking after the umpteenth fall, the world would be full of crawling adults. 
Do you remember when you learn the alphabet? How many times you had to repeat a letter before remembering and recognising it?

If you don’t take the decision to invest every second of your time into changing your situation once it for all, you're either fine with it or addictive to it.

Feeling miserable is a natural choice. Changing is a matter of practice.  


This article is a fragment of an informal study I am writing at the moment. 

**
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Monday, 26 June 2017

Changing takes time

I know loads of people I care about are struggling with various things in life. Some have bigger issues than others.
I have been trying for months to help a person I care about.
I told him about my journey into the depths of despondency. If you read my memoirs you might know what I am talking about.
As many other people, my life hasn't been easy.
I have attempted to change and fought to gain control over my destiny many times in my past.
But each time, after a few months of putting into act several strategies people tried before me, I gave up because I thought they were not helping me in any way.
Before turning forty, I hit rock bottom again. Except for this time I had only two choices:
To fight for my life or let it go once it for all.
As you might guess, my decision was to fight like never before and if I am not successful I'll make it over with because I had no real purpose in this world.
Since that moment I have invested my whole time into this final battle.
I have been listening to motivational audio books and messages 24/24. Not for a month, four or ten, but for a year until I started to show some improvements into my thinking patterns.

You might not believe in these things, I didn't use to either, but if you really are intended to change, you'll try UNTIL you succeed. Not for a week, a month, a year or a decade, but until you change.

Changing is a long process.
It took you thirty-five/forty ears to get to this point of non-return, a month invested into changing is a slap in your face.
It took you so many years to become so miserable, what makes you believe that fixing everything that got destroyed withing this period will take you less than two years?
Not even God could do that.
The power is in your hands. You just have to want to see it and use it step by step. Every day, every month, every year.

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Thank you and see you soon, amazing human being.


Saturday, 24 June 2017

3 Years in England - A milestone

With all that's going around in the world, the abominable terrorist attacks, unexpected presidency elections, shocking Referendum results, I have forgotten that on 4th of June 2017 were three years since I moved to England.

A milestone for me as I never thought I'd be here doing what I'm doing.

For many, England is the country of rain, fish and chips, pubs, narrow roads and Sherlock Holmes.
For me, it's the place where my dream has finally started to take form.
It wasn't easy, but here are some of my achievements of which I am quite proud of.
  • On 9th of June 2014, I found my first job as cleaner, 
  • A few weeks later I was offered a job in a warehouse as a quality check person,
  • In August (two months after I got here), I was hired as a call analyst,
  • In September 2014, I had the luck to meet an amazing human who rented me his house,
  • in December of 2016, I (self) published my first short memoir,
  • In May of 2017, I I (self) published another short memoir,
  • In June of 2017, the missing chapter from the previous memoir plus a collection of funny short stories appeared on Amazon, 
  • One novel is about to come out in both formats, eBook and paperback and I will finally have the right to call myself an author,
  • I made amazing friends,
  • My self-esteem is in a good path 
But my dream is only at the beginnings.

Happy Anniversary to me!

Living in the UK made this possible for me. Therefore, Thank You Gene (the friend that brought me here), Thank You Great Britain, Thank You Universe.
Despite the Brexit Referendum, the unavoidable general election results, I will always be grateful. 
In the end, I am Romanian, I should stay in my country not invade other territories. 
But if you really want to know, I would love to live in Romania but that's not possible for now. I won't impose my permanence in England, if they think I don't deserve to be her and it's fair to not give me the same rights every human should have, then I'll move. No problem.
I so wished you'd remained in Europe. Everything is so more complicated now. But I respect your decision.

**
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Image from Pixabay

Saturday, 17 June 2017

Three Weeks a Human in Asiago—The Missing Chapter is Live

Maybe not all of those who read Ten Years and Italy, Three Weeks a Human noticed that a chapter was missing.
Or maybe you didn't care. This second variant makes me quite happy to be honest.

Anyway, my deepest and sincere apologies if you felt that the memoir was incomplete. It was not my intention to disappointed any of you, on the contrary.

A few good reasons precluded me for including in the first edition.

1. I wanted it to have a place on its own so you could realise that I hold no grudge to Italy. If my permanence in one of the most beautiful countries of the world had been perfect, I wouldn't be here and the truth is I LOVE to be here. It was my destiny.

2. At the time I wrote the previous gloomy stories, I wasn't able to put this into a decent literary form. I needed some time to step out of that blue state of mind.

This is a gift for everyone who bought any of the two versions of my memoir and for those who like happy stories. Take advantage now!

Amazon allows me to give it for free for a few days every three months—there are many rules and conditions—so please download this as soon as you can. 
You don't have to read it right away, just conserve it on your device. 
The promotion starts on 18th of June and finishes on 21st of June. three days for now. 
If you don't see it free yet, come back later or wait for me to advertise it on my social networks. 

Anyone can read this collection of witty stories. It's not compulsory to know what happened before or in between. I tried to make it stand on its own. 

I hope you enjoy reading this little piece of work and if you've got a minute, remember to leave a short review. Or share it with your friends. "Give and it shall be given to you."

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Thank you and see you soon, amazing human being.



Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Elderflower tea or infusion

I absolutely love elderflower!
I am a sentimentalist and this plant gave us the only juice we had during the communism.
My mother used to make the most perfect fizzy drink on earth.
I will never forget or abandon the use of this magical flower.

English people make cordial and in shops, you find fizzy drinks with elderflower aroma. I love them all. Are my absolute favourite in the whole world.
Curious enough is that nobody knows this about me. And I made no secret of it.
Never mind.

This is not a recipe, but an idea and I suggest you take advantage of it now!
The elderflowers are in blossom everywhere in Devon (I only speak about this county because is where I live).

One single elderflower makes at least 500 ml of tea. Don't think if you put more it's going to be more tasty or good. On the contrary.

There are two variants of tea you can make. You can use both dry and fresh flowers, however, the taste will be slightly different.

First
I won't dare to tell English people how to make tea, for all other humans, just take a teapot, put the elderflower in it and pour hot water.
Let it brew for 2-5 minutes and serve with honey, sugar, or whatever you consider.
Of course, you can add a slice of lemon or lime.
I used orange a few times, it's also delicious, however, it covers the elderflower sublime taste. You try it though. It's worth it.

Second
Put the elderflower in the teapot, pour cold water and let it macerate a few hours. Honestly, in 10 minutes is ready.

There is another idea I would like to mention.
Cold elderflower juice, like a lemonade. What's the right word for that? Elderflowerade? 
  • 1 litre of cold water, 
  • 3-5 slices of lemon, lime
  • 2 fresh elderflower, 
  • 2 tablespoons of sugar, honey, etc.
  • Stir well, let it rest for 30 minutes, add ice and serve. 
So very refreshing, healthy, and incredibly tasty.

My mother used to make a very fizzy drink by adding yeast. Yes, yeast. Awesome. The bottles used to pop like bombs. Not very funny being woke up by a dreadful sound like that, but we laughed like crazy because we knew it was the juice fermenting and becoming champagne.

**
If you appreciated it, don't hesitate to like, share, comment, or join me on Facebook.
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Thank you and see you soon, amazing human being.

Image from Pixabay