Have You Ever Felt Like You Don't Belong Anywhere?

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I have this feeling since I was a child.
At first, I told myself that it was a silly sensation that every human has.
When it didn't go away, I convinced myself I was born in the wrong era. Maybe too early or too late.

I have been thinking...
I wrote so many memoirs when my intention is to write happy fictional stories. And I am quite good at it.
But then I need to liberate my soul from this eternal bad luck.
I believed that once I put the bad on paper, the good will shine.
Except it doesn't. The bad never ends.

These memoirs are the proof that I don't belong anywhere.
Nobody can have eternal bad luck.
I think I am trying too hard to live a life that I shouldn't have had in the first place.

Was it my fault for coming into this world? 
Why have I decided to come in the first place? 

Because I believe we chose to be born.
We chose from who, when, and where.

I also believe that we all have a purpose and if we don't find it in this life, we are bound to be born again until we find it.

I sometimes think that I found my purpose.
The truth is, I don't know what my purpose is and I am so, so, so tired. I don't want to be born again.
I don't want to go through this again. I really don't.
That's why I work so hard. Because I don't want to be born again. I want my soul to be at peace. Flying free wherever... just not here.

I doubt myself and I think I worth nothing.
I think I am not good enough and that's why I don't get anywhere despite my hard work.
But a friend of mine tells me that people fear my brilliance. So they don't support me because they don't want to give me the opportunity to be someone they would like to be.

But how does this help me? 

Image from Pixabay

Do you Know the Truth About Immigration?

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I am an immigrant. 
17 years ago, after living under a very oppressive communist regime, I left my homeland for the first time.  

I didn't want to abandon my parents and the only reality I knew.  
I cried in despair thinking I will never go back. I hated my destiny... my siblings' destinies. None of us wanted to leave. 

I have been treated in different ways during these years, but seldom fairly. 
For many, too many, I am a human of inferior birth. Not worthy of consideration. 

I have no country now. No identity. 
I feel like I don't belong anywhere. 

The UK, the country I love very much, has voted "Leave."  
  • Should I pack my bags? 
  • Should I give up my dream? 
  • Nobody wants Romanians. Is there anywhere I could go?
  • How am I going to provide for my octogenarian parents who survived the Second World War and raised ten children under an oppressive communist regime? 
Is it really true that this world is not for people like me? 
  • What should I do? 
  • What can I do? 
  • What would You do if you were me? 
  • Would you dare to ask for your human rights? 
  • Would you cry and feel alone in the whole universe? 
I hope you'll never find out. 
As for you, brothers and sisters who twist in despair and miss your roots, do not lose hope. Keep fighting, keep loving humans. We are not all the same. We are not all bigots. 
This is what I treat in my new memoir: Racism Without Racists

The book was written with the selfless intention to donate all the earnings to a charity who fights against discrimination, prejudice and abuse. 

Unfortunately, none of the organisations I emailed, dignified me with a response. 

I don't know, but due to my immigrant status and what I learnt during these years, I have an appaling theory: my nationality defines me. As always. 

I hope I am wrong, but I will never know for sure. 

Read the book. It's great. 
And if you like it, why not support me by leaving a review? 

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Romantic Suspense is your genre? iLive is Beautiful & Free

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Amazon is very generous!

Every three months it allows authors to offer their book for free for a few days.

This is the last opportunity to take advantage of this beautiful book.

Don't take my word for it, check it out now.
Are you a soulful person? Then you'll love it!

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You will receive and read for free chapters from books not yet published and you could help me write the stories You Love - if you like. 
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Are you cold and down? Make a Mood Changer Tea

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I am not a tea lover.
I don't even drink water.
I don't fancy liquid stuff.
I don't know why and I am annoyed because water is fundamental for the body to function properly.
I have to force myself to drink any sort of liquid.
Except for fizzy energising drinks.
Yes, that's the only drink I love. But I don't drink it often because it's not that healthy. Is it?

Anyway, let's move on.

I am a recipe inventer. I am that, I am. My Romanian blog, De Gustibus Non Est Disputandam, is the incontestable proof of that. Almost all the recipes published there (@400) are flour from my bag.

At the moment, I am baking a vegan cake with Raffaello. Which doesn't make it vegan really. Bloody Raffaello. Never mind.

I am open-minded, brave and curious of odd and new tastes. Nothing scares me. Except for insects. Bleah....
Some might say I am crazy, but that's their opinion.
Despite all of the negative introduction, I have invented a few tea recipes too.
Some are so brave that I decided not to publish them until I am famous. Then, I'll make money with them.

Today I want you to try this tea made with fresh ingredients. Like apple and cinnamon.

I have doubts about the freshness of the cinnamon, but I guess that doesn't count much as cinnamon cannot be used fresh. At least, it's what I've been told. Go figure.

I am sure that this combination is from antiquity, but I don't know how many of you actually think to make it at home.

All you need is one apple and a  stick of cinnamon. Powder (cinnamon) is good too.
If you drink your tea sweet, then you need sugar, honey or sweetener.

  • Cut the apple in slices and put them in a teapot. No, not like the image. That's a carafe. I don't have a transparent jug for this purpose. Sorry. 
  • Add the cinnamon stick.
  • Boil the water and add it on. 
  • Let it brew for 5 (or 10) minutes. 
  • Drink it hot. 

How many mugs can you make from an apple and a cinnamon stick? 
It depends on how strong you like your tea.
I would say 4 mugs.

But, you can add more boiled water on top like other 2 times. So you could have 12 mugs or more.

It smells divine and it tastes divine. It reminds you of Christmas. 
It warms you up, not only physically, but spiritually too. It lifts your mood. Honestly. Try it. 

It's perfect for cold times, especially for rainy days.

If reading is a burning desire, Join an author who cares. 
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Free Motivational Book – It's Never Game Over

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Maybe you've already purchased this book, but if you didn't, NOW is a good time.

Watch out for these dates: 18, 19 October 2017. 

The price was $4.50 and it's going to be free for download – to keep forever and read whenever.

Personal development is a lifelong process. Have you started working on yourself yet? Now is a good time for running.

  • Do you feel haunted by the past?
  • In the clutches of depression?
  • Are you out of hope and a step away from giving up your life? Suicide is not the ultimate solution.
Don’t pull the curtains just yet. There is always a way. Whatever is your situation now, you have the power to change it. You are not alone. You are strong and resourceful.
  • Depression can be overcome.
  • Happiness can be learned.
  • Self-esteem and self-confidence can be built.
  • You can develop mental toughness.
  • You can lose weight and find love.
  • You can heal your life.
  • Dreams come true if you don’t give up.
  • You can’t control the weather, but you can learn to control your emotions, to find motivation and see the good in everything. 
You just have to believe you can!
This self-help book is the reply to your Mayday. 
You are the master of your destinyYou are the placebo and the universe.
Take life in your own hands. All you need is within your reach. You can do it!
motivation manifesto that speaks to you. 

To have it click Here!

And there are others at the same time. Check my profile often. 

If you like my stories, don't hesitate to hit follow and leave a review on Goodreads or Amazon

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Join an author who cares. Read the stories You Love.