Wednesday, 7 January 2015

I need a hug...

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I went to bed at 11:00 Pm, as any normal person on this earth. I just wanted to sleep, quite tired.
Suddenly, I felt a profound urge for a hug.
--- No, no, no. Not again! I am ok, I don't need anyone and anything. I am perfectly fine with being single. 
Tried to convince myself of that. It did not work. It never does.
--- Maybe I should call someone. Do I  even have a friend who would just run to hug me? 
Is there anyone out there who would just leave everything just to come and give me what I need? 
No. Because I was not craving for A hug, but for THE hug.
I had someone in my mind, someone specific. Always the same person for the last few months.
But he had been there, for me, only when he needed. It was a time when I thought he wanted ME. I was wrong. He wanted something, that's sure, but nobody knows what. Not even him, or especially, not him. He lied.

I didn't like finding myself thinking at this story once again. At all. It is over. To be honest, nothing was ever on. Just feelings. Genuine, profound, true, from my side. The past.
I am not going to cry any more on this.
--- For what? For whom? Clearly not for him. I had enough!!
Angry and exhausted, tried to get asleep by force.


--- That's the story of my life. Always wanting what I cannot have. I will be fine tomorrow. Will woke up with a big smile on my face. Nobody will ever know. Surely not him. Even if I'd tell him, he wouldn't care. Yes, of course, he will deny it, but I know better. It's pretty damn obvious.

"The night brings clarity." or "Tomorrow is another day". - One of my favourite quote.
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It's only a story, but I am pretty sure that many of us felt this at some point in life. Maybe more than once. And many times we felt lonely (or alone) among thousands of people.
It's pretty sad when we look around and see that we have everything we need for a decent life, still, we are far from being happy.
Our body, mind, soul craves for someone we cannot have.
It's harsh, but we can't do anything about it.
We are only humans. With design flaws. So many... TOO many!



Will continue

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2 comments:

  1. Love Farid! You do make sense in writing, great talent. I can't write anything else than silly phrases, it seems so difficult. We all need to be hugged, it boosts your confidence and immunity. Thanks for putting in clear/simple writing these elementary things.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Irene. Love your name. One of my favourite. Yes, hugging is good for many things. Going to write a study about it. Love hugging the right people. Thanks, you are too good.

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